3 Wishes for Christmas – A seasonal comedy review that has all the makings of a supermarket coupon | film

TThink of the most unimaginably boring Christmas gift you’ve ever gotten — a pair of acrylic socks, for example, or one of those stiflingly scented talcum powders you can only buy at gas stations. Now imagine the spirit of that gift turned into a British holiday feature film, and you’ll come close to approximating the drab drip that is 3 Wishes for Christmas. It has all the features of a supermarket gift voucher. The only saving grace is that lead actress Christine During is competent enough to make the banal, grandiose language model dialogue seem somewhat believable. Sadly, the same can’t be said for the rest of the cast, who seem to have been thrown to the wolves by inept direction and sometimes find themselves literally floundering, as if they’ve been torn limb from limb.

While Tessa plays, she writes a column about pain for a magazine, though this bit of autobiography barely appears – quite typical of the screenplay, a collection of pointless plot points and meaningless tropes stolen from other Christmas-themed films and literature. Thus, Tessa breaks up with her boring boyfriend who works in finance at a scene that is not early enough, and decides to spend the holiday with her best friend Fiona (Katie Sheridan), and on the way she meets a handsome but rude man who turns out to be Sam (Jacob Anderton), Fiona’s brother. Naturally, they fall in love, fight again and again… Well, no spoilers. But it’s a romcom.

One could list all of the film’s flaws, but that would be like ripping the wings off a fairly harmless butterfly. It feels like it’s designed for romance-loving teens who aren’t old enough to watch Bridget Jones movies, and while there are plenty of better things to show for such a demographic, this is at least boring and not necessarily offensive.

● 3 Wishes for Christmas is in UK cinemas from 21 November.