Ashes 2025-26: ‘England must move to find Christmas miracle’ in Boxing Day Test

In that stunning summer of 2022, the baseball atmosphere breathed life into an England Test team that couldn’t win on the field and was weary of Covid restrictions.

Now the accusation is that England has become too cold. You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

England have collapsed despite, and because of, the approach of Stokes and coach Brendon McCullum.

New Zealander McCullum, a fan of the All Blacks’ famous ‘no fools’ policy, has signed up for the trip to Noosa and all the risks it entails.

This policy was designed by mental skills coach Gilbert Enoka to allow players to monitor themselves. Enoka worked for England under McCullum.

Stokes has seen the worst side of media scrutiny, following the 2017 incident outside a Bristol nightclub that cost him a place in the subsequent Ashes tour.

“I have first-hand experience with how this affects people,” Stokes said. “My role as England captain is to protect my players as much as I can.”

It’s a fair and admirable position. Maybe it came too late.

England have faced some unfair allegations in this Ashes tour. Former Australian bowler Mitchell Johnson called them “arrogant”, which Stokes was right in responding to.

But Stokes’ men were careless, loose, and utterly oblivious. They knew the traps they could fall into in Australia, with cricket director Rob Key warning them not to do anything “stupid” last September.

History has repeated itself. On the Ashes tour eight years ago, there was controversy over Jonny Bairstow’s “headbutt” and Ben Duckett offering beer to James Anderson. This prompted local media to ask Moeen Ali, a practicing Muslim, whether he would be able to stay out of the bar.

At the end of the 2021-2022 tour, a video emerged of a drinking session involving players from both sides that had to be broken up by police.

Even without off-field distractions, touring Australia is tough. England’s record in this country this century is 33 matches, losing 26, winning four and drawing three.

Of the four wins, three came in one series when England lifted the pot in Australia for the only time in the last 39 years.

The team was England’s greatest opener, two of the greatest Test wicket takers of all time, their best bowler of the last 40 years and perhaps the most gifted batsman to ever play for the country. Three players on the team were knighted.