Ardal O’Hanlon: “I fell asleep on stage once – I could hear someone doing my material, I got upset and woke up” | platform

What is the longest word you can form from the letters ARDALOHANLON in 30 seconds?

The word “anal” comes to mind, because I was doing a show in Limerick, Ireland and the stage manager actually thought my name was Anal. He contacted me via Tannoy [PA system]: “Can anal come to the stage door?” But there has to be a bigger word than that. I’m usually good at counting down. This is very annoying. This is how I define myself – by my ability to conjure words from random letters. Is “nolnahuladra” a word?

No, you could have had a “hand list” for eight people, or a “non-dollar list” for a full nine.

naturally!

You play as Detective Inspector Jack Mooney in Return to Paradise. What’s the closest you’ve come to being arrested?

I am generally a law abiding person. I remember, at a comedy festival in Montreux, Switzerland, another comedian, Phil Kaye, and I tried to sail across Lake Geneva on someone else’s boat. We got caught and had to do a runner.

Do you have an enemy?

At different times in a career, especially as an actor, it’s not uncommon to have an enemy. Every time you go to a casting, there’s a specific person who was there before you and got the role. Many years ago, there was an Irish guy named Peter MacDonald, who was a really good actor. cad. I started out very much as an actor, and was drawn to sitcoms, but when I started paying more attention to more dramatic acting roles, whatever I went for, Peter MacDonald got it. He’s a friend now, but god, she resents that guy. He even showed up [as William Kenzie] In Batman and the Penguin.

What is the biggest disaster you have faced on stage?

I once fell asleep on stage, at this legendary, rowdy club called the Empire in Belfast. Which It was a disaster. This was at the beginning of my career. I was up all night partying, took the train to Belfast and thought I was fine. I remember thinking I could hear someone doing my stuff, and feeling uncomfortable. And at that moment, I woke up and realized that I was on stage. It was an out of body experience and very terrifying.

When I started working in comedy, I was intentionally seeking out the toughest prison parties for murderers, thieves, and sex offenders. In fairness, the murderers and thieves were great. It was an impromptu show, so you can imagine some of the suggestions. But I found sex offenders annoying and unrepentant, and I don’t think I helped rehabilitate them [them] In any way.

Do you still have any of your Father Dougal knitted shirts from Father Ted?

Me, no. I regret that. There is a small painting that Father Stone did of Father Stone and Ted, and I have it. Dougal wore an Elvis suit for a similar competition. I have it. I commissioned the tank tops from a fashion designer, but have given them to charities over the years. it is a pity. I love a tank top but I can’t wear it in public.

What is your most embarrassing encounter with another celebrity?

Van Morrison, My Hero, was honored in Dublin by Bob Geldof. There was an invited guest list of about 200 people. Van requested a 25-piece orchestra to play his songs at night. I was backstage, in the toilet – a van toilet – doing my work, when I heard this banging on the door from this very angry man, and he was going… [does extreme Irish accent]: “Who’s in my toilet? Get out of my fucking toilet.”

I love Van, but I’m very aware of his perverted reputation. When I came out, he vaguely recognized me, and gave me what I can only describe as a very friendly headbutt, like a wandering deer.

She starred in the music video for Invisible Thread from The Divine Comedy. What would you do if you were invisible for the day?

I might go to everyone’s house on my street and rearrange their shoes. Or is that scary?

I did a show in Irish called Inis na nIontason [Irish channel] TG4 in 2024, exploring the islands around the coast of Ireland. Where might you want to explore next, and in what language?

Japan? But it must be in English. My Irish isn’t really good. People come up to me on the streets of Ireland and talk to me in Irish, thinking I speak it fluently. I have better Spanish than Irish. So I’ll do Japan, in Spanish, with English subtitles.

What is the oldest item in your refrigerator?

During the Covid period, people faced different challenges and adopted new hobbies. My only nod to that is that I made sauerkraut myself. They are easy to make, but require discipline and focus. You can chop the cabbage and add salt, black pepper or caraway seeds. Chopping is key. You need to shred it well. Then we leave it to ferment for up to a month. I’ve had an idealized version of sauerkraut in mind since the summer I spent in Germany when I was 18. And when I came to eat the sauerkraut, I didn’t really like it. So this is still in my fridge, three years later.

Would you rather die at the bottom of the sea or in space?

I’m a little afraid of water. I can swim, but when I was working on Dying in Paradise, I almost died in the Caribbean on two occasions. One weekend, a few people and I illegally rented a small boat and sailed to Montserrat, about 100 miles from Guadeloupe. It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday, but the next morning a hurricane hit, and our little boat was hit by 20-foot waves. We all thought that was it. People were praying and crying. The boat captain lost his mind and was even crying. It was really a really terrible experience. Another time, my children came to visit me. They went snorkeling and were following some giant turtles into the sea. My wife and I were at the beach. “I think the kids have overstepped their bounds,” she said, “so I had to go after them.” I only like to swim if I can stand at the bottom, but I could see 200 feet below me and thought, “I’m not going to make it.”

So, the answer to your question in short is: space.

• The second series of Return to Paradise will begin on BBC1 in the UK and ABC in Australia on 15 November. Ardal O’Hanlon: Not The Same is on tour in the UK and Ireland until November 16, then returns in March 2026