Daily Football – A Commentator’s View: Postman Pat, the disheveled and chunky Burrow

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John Murray, Ian Dennis and Ali Bruce Ball talk football, travel and language. They discuss a goal-heavy week in the Champions League, what jobs they’d be doing if they weren’t suspended, and their unintentional pub crawl gets even longer! Suggestions are welcome for our fantastic glossary of football commentary and unintentional pub names from football commentary – voice notes via WhatsApp to 08000 289 369 and emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk 00:40 Ian was destroyed by Herr Chapman 04:25 Reflections on the Champions League 11:10 5 live comments this weekend 13:00 What to do What would they do if not comment? 17:20 Unintentional pub names from football commentary 22:10 Top versus bottom in the commentators’ clash 34:40 A great glossary of football commentary BBC Voices/5 Live Premier League commentary: Saturday 1500 Chelsea v Sunderland, Saturday 1500 Newcastle v Fulham on Sports Extra, Saturday 1730 Man United v Brighton, Sunday 1400 Arsenal v Crystal Palace, Sunday 1400 Aston Villa vs. Man City on Sports Extra, Sunday 1400 Bournemouth vs. Nottingham Forest on the BBC Sport website and app, Sunday 1400 Wolves vs. Burnley on the BBC Sport website and app, Sunday 1630 Everton vs. Tottenham. Glossary so far: Section 1 Bosman, Cruyff-Turn, Giving the Goalkeeper Eyes, Hibs That, Maradona, Onion Bag, Panenka, Rabona, Tiki-Taka, Where the Kookaburra Sleeps, Where the Owl Sleeps, Where the Spiders Sleep. Section Two: Ball Stays Set, Coat on Sloppy Hook, Daisycutter, He’s Got That in His Locker, Howler, One for the Cameras, We Played It Out of the Park, Purple Patch, Root and Branch Review, Row Z, Stramash, Took One for the Team, That’s Cool… (Football), Thunderous Strike. UNSORTED 2-0 is a dangerous result, after Claude, Premier League issue, self-confidence, bag/box of tricks, brace, wave, bread and butter, deadlock breaker, grouped over the line, champions elected/clear champions, clinical finish, commentator’s curse, coupon buster, cultured/educated left foot, rejected from the wood, elimination draft, elimination line, fellow countryman, foot race, Previously from this parish, fox in the box, free kick, goalkeeping union, scramble in front of goal, good touch by big man, honeymoon period, in and around, in shop window, keeping the ball under their spell, Keystone cops defending, weakness, loitering with intent, marching orders, nestle in the bottom corner, numbered derby, nutmeg, opposite number, bus corner, PK for penalty kick, postage stamp, put it in the goal blender, put their laces through it, rough shot, red wine not white wine, relegation six pointer, rooted down, first way, Roy from Rovers, sending goalkeeper the wrong way, shooting boots, sleeping giants, sliding base pass, small matter, spider web, stay bat, drip, Palm sting, stone penalty, straight off the training pitch, taking one for the team, the team that likes to play football, throwing his hat at it, Thruppenny header/50p header, towering header, good feet, turning into a basketball match, turning into a cricket score, getting/shepherding the ball out of play, walking a disciplinary tightrope, left foot stick, we have a tie on our hands, wing in His pocket, your foot wrap around him, your De Bruynes, your Gundogans and so on.

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