Has anyone heard of a rehearsal? Playing around with candidates’ names may be traditional — but it’s still embarrassing film

TThe day after an awards show announces its nominations, the focus usually falls on the nominees. However, yesterday’s Golden Globe nominations were a little different, because all anyone could talk about was how badly actor Marlon Wayans smeared everyone’s names.

If you didn’t see that, that was a masterclass in getting it wrong. Watching Wayans announce the Golden Globe nominations was like living one of those anxiety dreams where you’re asked to fly a jumbo jet and realize you don’t know what any of the controls do. If you see that, I’m sure your toes will eventually break.

I won’t mention all the errors—I wrote them all down and then filled one page—but it was a fireworks display of ostentatious mispronunciation. In Wayans’ mouth, Ludwig Göransson became “Ludwig G. Ronson.” Hannah Einbinder became “Hannah Einbender.” Joel Edgerton became “Joel Ed Girton.” Nouvelle Vague was pronounced to rhyme with “plague.” Sarah Silverman’s posthumous comedy was accidentally called “Aftermath.” He had two slots on Renate Reinsve and missed both equally.

Some bidders might be able to get through something like this, but not the Wayans. Every time a foreign name appeared on the teleprompter, the fear in his voice was clear. When he had to read out the Korean names behind the KPop song Demon Hunters Golden, he was so nervous that he put a question mark after them all. He said Joachim Trier’s name as if he were reading the bottom line of a Snellen chart. He clearly recoiled from defeat before Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas even tried.

Unhelpfully, SkyB co-presenter Marshall was everything he was not. During the half that she received nominations, she was polished and witty, rattling off all her names as if they were old friends. No wonder Wayans walked off stage wiping his brow.

Now, to the casual observer, this might have seemed like a tough day at the office. But imagine being one of the candidates tarnishing Wayans’ name. Imagine your big moment being ruined by someone who was supposed to pronounce your name correctly, but ended up making a noise like a house key in a garbage disposal. It can’t be a great feeling, knowing you’ve made it in Hollywood when it’s not enough for anyone to know your real name.

This does not mean that this is an easy task. Not at all, especially now that awards shows have finally opened their doors to the glorious possibilities of world cinema. Having to pronounce a long list of unfamiliar names can be daunting. Many of us will have difficulty with this. A lot of people did that before Marlon Wayans.

Most notable was Tiffany Haddish. After the success of her role in Girls Trip, she felt for a moment that she could do it all. Then her hot streak came to an end when, as co-host with Andy Serkis, she hit the hard wall of 2018 Oscar nominations.

I struggled with Scott Neustadter. Luca Guadagnino was so spoiled that she looked for help outside the theater. But then she had to say Daniel Kaluuya’s name. At first she called him “Daniel Collier”. Then, after her assistant Andy Serkis coached her on the correct pronunciation, she messed up again. She named him “Daniel Kahlua.” She called him “Daniel Kaliluya.” “He knows his name,” she murmured finally, broken and humiliated.

The point is that presenters shouldn’t sound like they’ve been ambushed with these names. They should not retreat unprepared and try to capitalize on their charisma, no matter how great, because this approach clearly does not work. These are names that need to be practiced and rehearsed; Drilled by the award organizers. It can be done. SkyB Marshall is living proof of that. They have to bring it back every year.

There is, of course, an exception. Don’t forget that this is the 10th anniversary of the funniest thing that ever happened to planet Earth, which was Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences president Cheryl Boone Isaacs mispronouncing famed cinematographer Dick Pope’s name as “Dick Pope.” Until the day I die, nothing will be funnier than Dick Bob. So maybe this is the new rule. Presenters have to do their best to get each candidate’s name right, unless they can somehow make it sound like a dick shitting, in which case God bless them.