How a financial therapist suggests talking about money with loved ones this holiday season

Conversations about money with your loved ones can be downright awkward, especially around the holiday season. While it may seem easier to avoid the topic, being honest and transparent with your loved ones may actually be better for your relationships.

Investopedia I spoke with Gerika Espinosa, a certified financial planner (CFP) and certified financial therapist at DMBA Financial Planning, to discuss how to create boundaries with family members, have difficult conversations, and mentally prepare to spend big on Black Friday.

The key, Espinoza said, is to be “very intentional” in the face of pressure to spend big during the holidays to make people happy even if that’s not a goal of yours.

Below are edited excerpts from that conversation.

Investopedia: During the holidays, people typically spend more money, whether it’s on gifts or flights to see friends and family. How can people set boundaries around their spending and communicate them with their loved ones?

Espinoza: As far as gift giving goes, some [of my] Clients are not in the best financial position. We talk about setting expectations with their children before Christmas, for example [by saying] “Hey, we’re going to scale back a little bit this year.” When our expectations are met, things turn out fine. Usually, when there is a surprise, it upsets the balance and everyone gets upset.

In terms of travel, if there are flights, I encourage people to have conversations before the holidays, like the summer. [That way] You can start preparing to save monthly for those trips. Sometimes conversation with families [may include] “If we are traveling, we may not be able to bring gifts. Can you help us with Christmas gifts or flights?”

Whatever your situation, the holidays are no excuse to get emotional [ignore] Budget and do what you want.

Investopedia: What are some mistakes people should avoid making when having conversations about money with their loved ones?

Espinoza: I think people sometimes choose not to be transparent [enough]….Sometimes people associate gifts with love while others do not. It’s important to understand how much weight you’re actually carrying with your loved ones.

Make sure to transfer [your situation] Transparently and appropriately [by saying] “This is our financial situation. We have goals that we are working towards to get out of debt.

Usually, when you share that you’re trying to get out of debt or build savings, almost everyone understands and wants to support you.

Investopedia: For people who struggle with overspending on Black Friday or during the holidays, what kind of advice do you give them?

Espinoza: We need to buy things that matter to us and fit our values. Buying things just because they are good deals does not save us money. It does the opposite, it makes us spend.

If people are not tracked [prices]They’ll assume something is a good deal if it’s 30% off. I always encourage people to check prices before Black Friday, put it in their cart now, and see how much it will cost. Then, when Black Friday comes, they’ll know if it’s a good deal. By knowing [current] The price, they can expect it in their budget.

Since Black Friday falls at the end of the month, be prepared for the entire month. When you want to spend, you say, “I’m saving this.” [money] For black friday. You’re making a trade-off, and that’s more powerful.[you’re] Sacrificing something better for the future, rather than just withholding privileges and depriving yourself of them.