Is being too nice with money costing you? 9 habits that quietly drain your wallet

Generosity is good, but what if it starts sabotaging your savings? Maybe you spend out of habit or social pressure without realizing how much it costs you.

“One of the first things I tell people who are considering working with me is that I’m not a fun cop,” says Eric Scudder, a certified financial planner and founder of Trailhead Financial in Fairfax, Virginia. He has potential clients fill out an expense worksheet.

He says the task is not to tell them what not to do, but to know how to spend money. “They’ll often come back and say, ‘Oh, I didn’t realize I was spending this much money on this or that.'”

To find areas you can cut back, he suggests looking at your spending by category. You can check your bank account or credit card, or you can even enter your information into the budgeting app.

“The information is at their fingertips, and people are often surprised when they actually look at these numbers because most people don’t do it on a regular basis,” Scudder says.

Here are nine habits that may cost you more than you think:

• Buy a round of drinks
• Receiving the check
• Split the restaurant check equally when your share is less
• Go to every big event you’re invited to
• Keep up with group plans that are too large for your budget
• Donate per ask
• Buy gifts for every occasion
• Over-gifting for the holidays
• Excessive tipping

The cost of being too generous in restaurants and bars

Whether it’s buying a batch of drinks, repeatedly collecting the check, over-tipping, or splitting the group’s bill evenly when ordering the cheapest thing on the menu, a restaurant’s spending can add up.

Eating out and groceries are two categories of spending that many people can cut back on, Scudder says. “How much food – groceries – are you throwing away? And do you really need Uber Eats multiple times a week?”

When social plans squeeze your budget

Travel can get expensive, and it’s hard to say no to weddings, baby showers, birthday parties, and group trips. While missing out on these celebrations may make you feel guilty, it’s important to think about your financial goals as well. Saving for college or retirement may be less fun than spending money on a trip to see friends and family, but don’t lose sight of what’s important.

Over-giving during the holidays

You don’t have to give gifts to everyone you know for the holidays. Consider starting holiday traditions that don’t cost a lot, like caroling, drinking eggnog, and playing board games by the fire. Or host an ugly sweater party and go to a thrift store to get that sweater.

Consider whether you are giving in a way that reflects your values, or if you are giving because of social pressure. If it’s the latter, “I’d question whether it’s a real friendship,” Scudder says.

Bottom line

Being kind doesn’t have to be expensive.

You may want to set a limit on social spending and incorporate it into your budget. Another option is to pause before paying automatically when you’re out with friends. You can use that moment to ask yourself if it’s really your turn. “Think of the trade-off,” Scudder says. “Do you really need to do this?”

And remember, you can be generous in other ways. Give time, attention, energy and compassion. It’s great to focus on your relationships, but you don’t always have to spend money to do so. You can spend some time instead.