New dating app Sonder has an intentionally annoying sign-up process (and it actually works)

Sonder can be used for both platonic and romantic connections, making in-person events feel less intimidating – you’re not entering a space where everyone is wandering around.

“We have recurring events, because it’s good to have regular people come back,” Sun said. “It mimics running clubs in a way, where you have this recurring opportunity to meet people, but there’s no pressure in that sense that you have to make it work the first time you see someone.”

Running clubs have become a phenomenon where people meet in person – and the incentive for “maximizers” is that even if you don’t make a new connection, you at least get a workout. But not everyone likes to run, and not everyone feels attractive when they have visible sweat stains.

“I hate running,” Hassan says. “Not everyone is going to be interested in running clubs… Helen is interested in book clubs, but you can’t pay me to go to a book club.”

Sonder isn’t the first startup to notice that people might want to meet in person. Even Tinder, the most “dating app” of all dating apps, offers personalized experiences. But consumers are eager to try something new. For dating apps, early-stage startups can actually benefit from their lack of brand recognition — going to an IRL Tinder event sounds as attractive as going to the DMV, while trying something new sounds even more appealing.

“I think what we’re trying to bring back is the magic of bringing people together and meeting someone for the first time,” Sun said. “It should be something special, rather than feeling like you’re scrolling through job applications on LinkedIn.”

Established dating apps are also offering flashy new features, like Bumble’s AI-powered dating assistant, or a tool Tinder is testing to analyze photos from your camera roll to get to know you better.

Sunder is not squeamish about artificial intelligence. Hassan’s day job is product engineering at Granola, a London-based AI note-taking app that recently raised $125 million at a $1.5 billion valuation. But he realizes that Sonder users – about 6,500 in London acquired without paid marketing – tend to be less enthusiastic about excessive uses of AI in their love lives.

However, Sonder still uses AI. It’s less flashy than mainstream apps. The app suggests matches to users by running LLM to analyze screenshots of user profiles, and see who the user might want to meet. But Hassan says he refuses to provide any tools for creating AI profiles.

“I think at this point, it loses the human touch to it,” he said. “So, even though we may be losing hundreds of users, and there’s a lot of friction in setting up a profile, we want to make sure it’s an actual person putting their own effort into creating that profile, because I think that also serves as an indicator of how much effort you’re actually willing to put into your communications.”

Sonder has yet to raise funding, and its founders are working on the app part-time, alongside their day jobs. But Hassan hopes Sunder can secure funding and transition into full-time work while remaining in London.

“To be honest, our lives are very tiring for us,” he said. “We work nine to five, and then go host this event at the end of the day.” “But the next day, when I watch the videos, it’s really nice to see people smiling a lot and having real conversations.”