No strings attached review – Mel Giedroyc makes all TV better…even the hardcore sex show for dummies | television

IIsn’t there a format that couldn’t be done by hiring Mel Giedroyc to host? With or without Sue Perkins by her side, Giedroyc’s presence makes any type of chat/quiz/contest watchable. You can give her almost nothing and she will turn it into something fun and playful. To prove this indisputably, E4 has come up with No Strings Attached, a film so absurd and objectively horrific that it would be unbearable to any other presenter.

The result of a commissioning process that can only be explained by major staff/budget cuts, a complex blackmail case or a rogue shipment of hallucinogenic cocaine, No Strings Attached continues as follows. A celebrity sits in an armchair opposite La Droyc. They each hold a sheaf of paper, on which is printed a piece of erotic fiction – written especially for this show by amateur writers who have previously produced bizarre stories on the internet – in which the celebrity is the protagonist. As the famous person reads aloud the story of his or her fictional sexual escapades, Mel follows the script, interacting, encouraging, and guiding. So that it doesn’t get visually stale, we regularly move on to puppets performing the described actions, with vivid furry detail.

The first is Sam Thompson from Made in Chelsea, Celebrity Big Brother, Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins, Celebrity Coach Journey, Celebs Go Dating, Celebrity Ghost Hunt, The Celebrity Circle, CelebAbility, I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! And I’m a celebrity… unadulterated fame. His story imagines his friendship with fellow reality star Pete Wicks has turned physical, with the physical undertones of their appearance at a shirtless charity sparring match turning into a different kind of fencing – and this is causing a Romeo and Juliet-style controversy in the celebrity community, given that one of these new lovers is from Made in Chelsea and the other from The Only Way is Essex, but Sam and Pete’s lust cannot be contained.

At the studio, Sam and Mel have to do some work, since the story is a bit comedic and quite outrageous, without being very funny or properly dirty. But they soon establish a rapport, starting with Giedroyc’s reaction to Thompson referring to 55 as an old person’s age, and continuing when he starts to dry out and Giedroyc suggests they have another gin and tonic, using a liter bottle of Schweppes herself. (No Strings Attached is one of those shows where you can imagine a crew member being given the specific, crucial task of providing the right amount of alcoholic beverages to the host and guest.)

As she goes along, with Giedroyc’s interjections enhancing the script’s more suggestive moments (“You’ve got a very big tongue, Sam? You’ll need a very big tongue for that”), her impeccable comic timing is always funnier than what Thompson is reading: the way she reaches for a bowl of previously untouched peanuts just as he says “their artful parts bumping into each other” is the work of a master. Meanwhile, the story is a kind of semi-parody, generally playing straight and letting the ridiculous subject matter do the entertainment, but then occasionally reaching for a fully comedic trope: “Sam is enjoying Pete’s manhood like a hungry dog ​​at a barbecue… sucking water from his nipples like a thirsty piglet” is the climax of a scene filmed in a locker room shower.

Each episode lasts 40 minutes including the commercial break, which is about 38 minutes longer than it takes for the novelty of the concept to wear off, especially since the dolls don’t add much beyond the muzzle of their nipples and genitals being replaced by tufts of feathers. We rely entirely on Giedroyc’s indefatigable professionalism, as she takes on the persona of the tolerant and mischievous aunt, happily indulging in the languid sauce of the material and finding pleasure merely in being in the guest’s company. The other episode provided for review by E4 sees her effortlessly bonding with Kerry Katona, showing off her terrible Aussie accent and the possibility of landing a call from Coronation Street while Katona reveals a tale that takes place behind the scenes of the TV talent competition, where she messes around with both Peter Andre and Mel B.

None of the guests are likely to top No Strings Attached on their resume any time soon, and Giedroyc is much better at a good show than she is at a bad one, but nothing in anything could be bad. You’re unlikely to remember No Strings Attached at all, not least because you may not make it through the entire episode, but if you do, you’ll be for it.