Review of Two Women Living Together by Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo – Best-selling Korean book about platonic partnership | books

WWhen Sanwoo and Hana met on Twitter, they were both in their 40s and single. They both grew up on the beachfront in Busan, and studied in Seoul before entering the city’s famously brutal rat race, Sunwoo as a fashion journalist, and Hana as a copywriter. They shared the same taste in music and books, and most importantly, they both refused to marry. No wonder. In South Korea’s stubborn patriarchal culture, women in dual-income families spend nearly three hours more per day than men on housework. Instead, Sunwoo and Hana joined the large number of South Koreans living alone. At first, independence seemed exhilarating. However, by middle age, the unit began to wear out, and their studio apartments seemed too small.

Two Women Living Together, the 2019 South Korean bestseller that spawned a popular podcast, charts Sunwoo and Hana’s decision to buy a sunlit house together and live not as a romantic couple but as friends. Across 49 warm and chatty essays, they invite us into the life they share with four cats, reflecting everything from the food they love to their retirement fantasies.

Like any couple, their lives are full of quiet joys and big upsets. Simple bliss. Sunwoo, like the “crow that collects shiny things,” has a lot of clothes that break out her wardrobe. They bicker over laundry protocols, New Year’s rituals, and whether the house should be ruthlessly tidied up before a big trip (of course it should!). A lot can be learned in a fun way. After one argument, Sunwoo retreats to her room to browse property applications and imagines leaving. Just when she realizes she can’t go through the trouble of uprooting herself, she sneaks out to make amends. However, as Sunwoo wrote, “We may be stuck in an endless cycle of disappointment and forgiveness, but we never stop pinning our hopes on each other.”

Beneath this warmth lies a radical proposition: that their partnership should be treated like any family. When Sunwoo is hospitalized for surgery, Hana becomes her “primary guardian,” but is not eligible for the free flu vaccine offered to families of employees at Sunwoo’s workplace. Their relationship is not visible in official papers. “If there was a choice it would connote greater responsibility and trust than a ‘friend’ — perhaps a ‘life companion,’” they write. In South Korea, where same-sex marriage is not recognised, those who live in households with friends or as unmarried partners do not have access to equal tax benefits, welfare support, authority in medical emergencies or even the right to act as “chief mourner” at funerals. In 2025, progressives introduced a bill to secure the rights of cohabiting partners and friends, arguing that Expanding the definition of “household” could address the effects of a declining birth rate, including the loneliness epidemic and the care gap, and was blocked by the Conservative government. However, there are still green shoots: the recent change allows census respondents to describe themselves as “cohabiting partners,” a victory for LGBTQ+ groups that nonetheless leaves people like Snow and Hannah unrecognized.

The book is not without its frustrations. Some of the articles feel like filler. I am proud cat owners, and even my patience has been tested by the pages dedicated to their pets. As an image of friendship, it is generous and witty; As an examination of a growing social phenomenon, I wanted more context. Is there a tradition in South Korea for single, divorced or widowed women to live together for mutual support, as has happened in Britain and Europe for centuries? How do neighbors respond? Do people assume it’s a gay relationship? Do single men make similar choices, or is this type of intercourse considered taboo for them?

Interest in “platonic partnerships” is growing around the world, as people try to cope with rising housing costs and the collapse of family-centred care. In France, friends and cohabiting couples can already file Civil Solidarity Charter Providing legal protection. The previous German government proposed Verantwortungsgemeinschaft (“Responsibility Companionship”) allows up to six unrelated people to pledge mutual care, although the new coalition is unlikely to seek this. In the absence of legal recognition, stories like Snow and Hanna’s case are important, as they illustrate the growing number of people turning to friends as a primary source of stability, companionship and care, and show all the many ways to start a family.