“Sweet and gentle” or “like abuse”? Why is opinion so divided about the gay BDSM ‘romcom’ Pillion?

Although Bisbee praises Bellion as “one of the most authentic depictions of a skin-to-skin relationship I’ve ever seen on screen,” she also suggests that she’s missing a key scene — one that might have made the central relationship feel more valid. “We never see a negotiation between Colin and Ray regarding the terms of their relationship, which to me is one of the few unoriginal things in the movie. In BDSM relationships, that conversation always happens,” says Bisbee. At the same time, however, she can understand why Layton omitted this from the script. “From the filmmaker’s perspective, this conversation would slow things down and break the tension,” she says. Ray Skarsgård remains a fascinating mystery until the end of the film, adding to the character’s uncanny charisma. He speaks with a cute American accent and looks like the Hollywood star that Skarsgard really is, but we never know how he ended up in a quiet corner of south London. As we see Colin navigating his monotonous job as a parking inspector, there’s no idea how Ray finances his lifestyle or spends the daylight hours.

Wignall argues that this attractive equivocation moves the film into “fantasy” territory. “Because there’s a lack of discussion about the boundaries of their relationship, and because Colin seems to be settling in as Ray’s stand-in without any real communication, it doesn’t feel like real life,” he says. However, it’s worth noting that Lighton took strides to make the film authentic by spending time with the Gay Bikers Motorcycle Club, the largest LGBT+ motorcycle club in the UK and Europe. Some of its members play supporting roles in the film as Ray’s cycling companions.

Ian Wilson, who also appeared in the film and served as an unofficial “networker,” said Colin and Ray’s dynamic contained echoes of an unhealthy relationship he experienced. “I think we discover Ray in the same way that Colin did,” Wilson told GQ. “We see him at the beginning of the film as this wonderful man… and we gradually fall out of love with him.” Skarsgård’s character doesn’t change much as the film progresses, but Melling’s Colin gains confidence and shows glimpses of strength, which feels like an important development.

Compare Fifty Shades

Pillion isn’t the first movie to revolve around BDSM’s relationship to the weather controversy. Most famously, the first part of the Fifty Shades of Gray trilogy was met with protests when it opened in cinemas in 2015. Activists felt that the central relationship between a tyrannical billionaire and a meek college student was deeply unhealthy. Natalie Collins, who led the 50 Shades Domestic Abuse campaign, told the BBC at the time: “We are really concerned about the way he is stalking her, forcing her to have sex, forcing her to give up her car, harassing her and emotionally abusing her.” However, Bisbee completely rejects comparisons between the Pillion films and Fifty Shades of Grey, which are based on the best-selling novels by E.L. James. “Most people in the kink community hate those books and movies because they contain all the bad clichés you can find about BDSM,” she says. “While I can’t think of another movie that depicts BDSM and leather relations like Pillion. It’s just a great movie.”