Take that Santa! This is me upside down and naked in the fireplace – best photo by Brooke DiDonato | Photography

II thought a lot about the time I took this photo. In my twenties, I lived in New York. Then I broke up with my long term partner in 2019 and didn’t really know how to deal with it anymore. I didn’t feel creative, my experience living in New York was tied to that relationship, and I felt like I needed to go somewhere else and start over. I moved to Austin, Texas, and thought about giving it a try for a while.

I was doing a lot of tinkering around the house, started painting a lot of portraits and just let myself go. At this point, in 2021, one of my friends, Mike, was living in a 1940s building in East Austin, with old popcorn ceilings, really cool moldings and outlet covers and original details, including a fireplace. It was inspiring to be there.

It was a bad day and I called Mike to ask if I could come with me with a tripod. I knew I wanted to photograph with a fireplace, but the idea wasn’t clear to me. I am always balanced between these two modes in my practice – between knowing exactly what I am doing and what I am not doing. The fireplace is set up exactly as you see it in this photo, I just replaced the bowling cup that was on the mantelpiece with an artwork I took from his bathroom. I was thinking about how to relearn as an adult, the old lesson people tell kids: “Don’t play with fire.” Hence the title of the picture – I learned a lesson and then forgot it.

There is a lot of tension but there is also grace in the picture. Mike had recently taken in a stray kitten and it kept popping up in the photo, but its curiosity sent the right message. People often want to know about it and whether it is real or photoshopped.

I’ve photographed many different versions of the pose – I have about 24 snippets. Whenever I take a photo in a compromising pose, I assess the discomfort before I get naked. In this case the position was extreme, and my back hurt for a few days afterward. But I wanted to make a perfect square with my body. I often come up with poses in response to the space I’m working in. During that first year in Austin, I became more in control of my work. I had the idea of ​​the installation but still left room for the way I was working – spontaneous and interacting with the space, working with whatever was available to me, and having fun.

It’s a special image for me now. I have since returned to New York and think a lot about that period, even though it was also very difficult. I felt really alive. In the New York scene, there’s a lot of competitiveness and constant comparison, and it was nice to break away from it and stay in a place where the pace was different. I can walk into a friend’s fireplace and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t work!

There was a lot of emotion in this work. I wasn’t thinking about what would be so popular, although it ended up getting a huge reaction on social media that I didn’t expect. I think people connect with work that allows them to create their own story. They are reacting to this pose and it is an image that leaves a lot of room for interpretation.