“They’re all bad – but some are worse than others”: Every Harlan Coben show rated | television

TAmerican novelist Harlan Coben is, by the standards of commercial fiction, one of the most successful writers working today. He’s a New York Times bestselling author who writes the kind of thrilling novels you buy at the airport, frantically consume by the pool, and never take home.

Coben has written 35 novels and 11 novel adaptations (eight of which are in English) in a nine-year, 14-book deal with Netflix. These series share a tone, tone and even actors – in multiple performances, Spooks’ lively Richard Armitage appears like a bad coin.

But despite their mass-market appeal, these adaptations are widely considered some of the worst TV shows to ever exist. Set in the English suburbs, they usually involve a mysterious crime being ineptly investigated by a corrupt police force. Cobain’s daughter is the screenwriter of many of these adaptations, suggesting that a disdain for realism runs in the family.

However, I have a soft spot for these sad shows. While the plots are often ridiculous and full of twists, they provide a high camp and silly alternative to the prestige television we’ve become accustomed to in recent years. Despite the gruesome events that occur — murders, domestic violence, and sexual trafficking — the scariest thing about the world of Harlan Coben’s adaptation is the acting.

For me, this is comfortable. So, if you find yourself at home on one of the many frigid January evenings, longing for a piece of simple art — a nonsensical script, acting they’d never study in drama school — look no further than one of the many Harlan Coben adaptations available on all the good streaming services. They’re all bad, but some are worse than others.

And I’ve watched them all.

Here is my ranking.

bad

Stay Close (2021, Netflix)

What happens when you transfer an actor who played Hamlet in the West End to a Harlan Coben adaptation? Eh…that’s Kush Jumbo’s dilemma in Stay Close, one of many works set in the suburbs.

Megan Jumbo left behind her life as an exotic dancer — and her lover, Richard Armitage (of course) — one mysterious night nearly 20 years ago to start a new life with a big house, three kids, and sensible brown hair. But it all comes crashing down when her past starts rearing its ugly head.

So far, it’s pretty conventional – stop two evil killers who look like CBeebies announcers and perform a synchronized dance to Creep by Radiohead (for real) before murdering their victim with an air drill.

After a slow start this one really heats up. If you He can Wait until episode 8, the development is very good.

Fool Me Once (2024, Netflix)

Protagonist Maya Stern is not one to be trifled with – and if you’re not sure about that, why not read her titular imperative again.

Strict by name, strict by nature, Maya (Michelle Keegan) is a former fighter pilot with a troubled past, dealing with the recent tragic murders of her husband and sister.

That is, until her (dead) husband appears on the nanny cam… and Maya’s world is thrown into turmoil. Fortunately for us, that means plenty of screen time with her dead husband’s mummy, the deliciously evil Joanna Lumley. She plays a big pharmaceutical company matriarch who is – guess what – really shady.

Escape (2026, Netflix)

Coben’s latest thriller, a collaboration with frequent co-writer Danny Brocklehurst, was released on New Year’s Day. It’s as if the planners knew it would be the perfect accompaniment to a devastating global waste.

This is classic Coben fare, comfort food television of the highest order: think missing daughters, private investigators, and more twists and turns than you can shake a stick at. But the esteemed cast, including Minnie Driver, James Nesbitt and Ruth Jones, elevates it above some other performances.

Safe (2018, Netflix)

Ayman Actor Michael C. Hall delivers one of the worst accents of modern times in this twisty tale, playing an ordinary British father who is secretly decidedly not American.

The plot hinges on a house party gone wrong, which leads to the disappearance of two teenagers – one of whom is the daughter of Tom Hole’s surgeon. But… how can this happen in a gated community, which should be so “secure”? It turns out that curved braziers aren’t just for use Line of duty.

But rest assured, this is a far cry from prestige television. The plot is so forgettable, I watched this when it came out, forgot all about it, and realized I’d seen it all before in episode 8 of my second hour.

worst

The Stranger (2020, Netflix)

Coben told The Observer in 2022 that he wrote The Stranger in three weeks while traveling in the back of an Uber. Perhaps this explains the extensive plot holes.

A young woman wearing a baseball cap reveals life-changing secrets to unsuspecting people, leading to the disappearance and murder of cast members. It should be scary, but it’s often funny. For example, Jennifer Saunders plays a woman who is violently murdered in her cake shop. As ridiculous murders go, we’re about to take a bite of Parmesan away from the cheese wheel death of Martin McCutcheon in mid-range murders.

Shelter (2023, Prime Video)

If you’ve ever wondered what happens when you leave nothing On the cutting room floor, that is. shelter This film takes all the Coben classics—dead parents, missing children, mysterious abandoned houses, plot lines involving fire—and adds high school politics, basketball, two strange stories, a network of tunnels, a sex trafficking ring, and… the Holocaust. Yes, you read that right.

Set in the United States, this film has a more American pep in its step – as well as what feels like a higher budget – than some other adaptations. Bonus Points: The teens give committed performances, and there are some funny lines as they strive together to solve a mystery that’s sillier than ever.

The downside is that the plot lines are so varied and episodic that it shocked me. Just when I thought nothing else could happen, I realized I was only on episode five of episode eight.

Miss You (2025, Netflix)

finally, A Köppen adaptation that passes the Bechdel test! We have a female hero to root for – Detective Cat Donovan is the fearless DNI, who is… oh no… completely obsessed with men: her ex-husband, who disappeared 11 years ago (or did he?), solving the cold case murder of her father, who was the quintessential police officer (or was he?).

These strings come together in one of Cobens’ lackluster films, until a few episodes later we arrive at a twisted British horror film. On a farm deep in the countryside, naked people are being tortured in the farmyard – and the terrifying cattle guard is none other than Steve Pemberton, star of the nightmarish film Inside No.9. This can’t be good.

worst

Lazarus (2025, Prime Video)

If you remove the camp from Harlan Coben, Lazarus is what you get. Our depressed hero, hilariously named Laz, wanders an AI-like city, trying to solve the mystery of his father’s (Bill Nighy) suspicious death — and that of his sister. Fortunately, he starts seeing ghosts who can help him with this…

I wish I could say this was better. But the screenplay, acting, and pacing are all absolutely terrible. The more illogical episodes I watched, the more confused and hurt I became. Lazarus is marketed as a “horror thriller,” but despite the blood and guts — including ghosts killing each other with axes — the scariest thing about this show is Lazar’s sister’s wig.

This is the first Coben not based on one of his books, and it shows. The script has none of the high camp trappings that make eight hours spent in awe worth it. Bring back the musical theater-loving homicidal maniacs in Stay Close – definitely the best thing in this entire canon.